Anguilla or Bust: “Every conversation we have is so deep.”

bachelor logo

Last night’s Bachelor left something to be desired.  I sort of feel like I’m saying that every week.  But, I’m not a quitter, so I will continue to watch until the final rose has been given.

Brad managed to do ok without his therapist this week, but he seems to be turning into a therapist himself.  There was a lot of “what I’m hearing you say is…” and “that is your perception.”  So, as the girls continue to pour out their beer tears on Brad, he continues to mop them up, and maybe even give out some sympathy roses (ahem, Ashley).  It’s too late in the game for that, Brad.

All-American girl, Emily, received the first one on one date this week.  Brad, you tricky dog…you planned a dream-like day for Emily, with helicopter rides and deserted islands.  Oh wait, Brad didn’t plan a darn thing.  (Why does it drive me crazy that the girls always give the bachelor so much credit for planning the dates?!)  Brad continues to grow more and more smitten with widow-Emily, yet I still haven’t seen much of a conversation between the two of them.  But he’s silly in love with her, and I kind of believe it, and I kind of think it’s sweet.  Brad guaranteed Emily that she would receive a rose, even though he kept telling her he was ‘breaking the rules.’  Now the big question…how will meeting little Ricky go?  (According to next week’s previews: not so good.)

Shawntel N. received the next one on one date and she managed to really wow Brad with her interactions with other people. Yes, he’d never seen any of the girls interact with anyone besides himself or one of the 25 other crazy women.  (Need I remind you, this is a very realistic scenario?)  Brad and Shawntel N. wandered the streets, talking to ‘the people,’ making out, playing dominoes with ‘the people,’ making out, jumping rope with ‘the people,’ making out, and listening to ‘the most famous singer in Anguilla’ with the people.  Oh, and they made out.

(Side note: Can you believe there are still two women named Shawntal left in the game, but spelled differently?)

The final one on one date belonged to Britt, who seems to be wasting away over the course of the show.  She looked so tiny on this episode.  Did anyone else notice that?  Britt has been one of my top favorites the entire season, but last night it was clear that the connection was not there.  Brad decided not to wait until the rose ceremony (which I respect) to tell Britt she’s not the one.  This whole scenario, however, must have been planned, as they had the dinghy ready to take her away.  Britt, you handled it well and I wish you the best of luck, fellow foodie writer.

And of course, the producers planned on the group date involving the three most dramatic, high maintenance, beer teared, trio of the group.  Their early morning wake up call resulted in a photo shoot for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.  (They made sure we knew it hits shelves on Feb. 15.)  Ashley quickly agreed to go topless (as long as she had conch shells in front of her), and Chantal O. went one step further, really going topless, sort of covering herself.  Ah, female competitiveness at its best.  No wait, it gets better.  Michelle decides to straddle Brad in her photo shoot and make out with him as the waves crash upon them.  I think this move both excites Brad, yet absolutely terrifies him.  The other two girls are less than pleased.

The most G-rated photo from the shoot.  (This is a family-friendly blog.)

The most G-rated photo from the shoot. (This is a family-friendly blog.)

Which leads us to the ‘pool party’ portion of the group date.  With only four people, two of whom are totally ticked off, you can’t really define this event as a party.  Brad spends the whole date apologizing to Ashley and Chantal O. (who are in competition for the ‘drunkest girl at the party’ award), while Brad literally avoids Michelle like the plague.  He is genuinely afraid she is going to mount him (again) in front of the other girls.  Michelle, your time is running out.

After Brad does a little more therapy with Ashley and Chantal O., it’s time for the rose ceremony.  Brad insists on no cocktail party and proceeds to hand out roses.  It was pretty predictable at this point who Brad was going to let go, even though Michelle insisted (as if in a final plea to the cameras), “every conversation we have is so deep.”  Not deep enough, Michelle.  Brad let Michelle go and awkwardly walked the silent and enraged Michelle to her limo, where she proceeded to lie down in silence.  Being conniving and competitive is exhausting, isn’t it?

Next week: meet the families!  Always a new insight into the girls’ lives.  Predicted awkwardness: Shawntel N. showing Brad her place of work and Brad trying to win over little Ricky.

  1. Elizabeth says:

    I think what you may be left desiring are the signature Bachelor shower shots of Brad. Have you noticed this season is lacking? Just sayin’.

  2. Betsy says:

    I hear you, Elizabeth. There are much fewer shower scenes than before. Shower scenes would be another good way to show off the back tatt.

  3. elaney says:

    I love this season, and I loved this episode!! I just love watching the awkward interactions between the women and the group dates and sad that they are over. In the words of Carter Woolfolk, “I’ll be honest. I just gotta watch that ‘The Bachelor’”

    Michelle could’ve owned this season – I think we all learned that men don’t like it when women act like the get so much more about a man than he ever could.

    And I’m really afraid that Chantal O is going to take this thing. If Emily is smart (which jury is probably still out on), she’ll back out at the end and end up as the next Bachelorette and a C-list TV career.

  1. There are no trackbacks for this post yet.

Leave a Reply