Bachelor Recap: Women Tell All & Brad says “Mercy”
Greetings from Hayama, Japan! I am having a great time with Rob, Alden, Chip, and my new nephew, Pete. Tuesday night, Japan time (Tuesday morning States time), we introduced Pete to his first episode of The Bachelor. Well, he slept through it but I’m sure he would have loved every second of it. Initially, I was disappointed that the one episode I would get to watch with Rob and Alden was “Women Tell All,” but I felt like we got to debrief and reflect on the entire season as we watched together. Nothing brings people together like less-than-mediocre reality TV. There was no shortage of laughter, rolling of eyes, and “this is so ridiculous.”
So onto last night’s episode, which consisted of about 40% actual interviews and 60% flashbacks. Chris Harrison took on the feisty host role last night. I’ve seen this character trait in the most recent seasons but I felt like until last night, he really took a back seat to Brad’s therapist this season. On “Women Tell All” Chris did not hold back the unsolicited advice, psychological judgments and even crowd control, as the women bared their souls and engaged in the usual cat fights.
Speaking of baring their souls, what are your thoughts on Michelle? I have a little trouble believing that everything she said was “just her sense of humor” but Brad and Chris seem to agree with her. The tears were a bit much, Michelle. You did just sell the story of your affair with NBA player, Carlos Boozer to US Weekly, so I have a bit of trouble believing that you’re completely well intentioned and just a funny person. More importantly though, why do you think Jackie cared so much about Michelle’s actions on the show? Jackie came off crude and desperate in last night’s episode and I liked her during the season. Jackie, don’t get involved in the drama! You didn’t on the show; why did you feel compelled to last night?
The one person that did stay quiet, and by that I mean silent, last night was Shawntel N. I don’t know that she said one word. Smart girl! I would have enjoyed hearing a little more about how things are going back west, at the funeral home, and let Chris Harrison dissect her daddy issues. I’m not even going to write about Melissa and her feud with the girl whose name I can’t remember (Rachel, I think?) because they’re just annoying and lame. Get over yourselves. If you didn’t make it past Episode Three, you shouldn’t be allowed in the hot seat.
And look who reinvented herself and returned to her “natural” brown locks: Ashley H. During Ashley and Chris Harrison’s one on one time, Ashley managed to exude a manic confidence, yet apologize repeatedly for questioning her and Brad’s relationship too much and doubting Brad. Chris reminded Ashley that she “put up walls” with Brad. Oh, Chris. You’re so right. Then when Ashley H. had her chance to confront Brad, all she did was apologize and ask for a hug in a peppy and overly eager coo. You were just dumped on national television by a man who met your family and took you to South Africa. And you want a hug?
And of course, the man himself, Brad Womack. I was afraid Chris might not interview him with the ladies present, as they seem to have a bit of a bromance, but he did. Let’s be honest, though. Brad wasn’t really in the hot seat. Brad spent more time talking about bringing hot water to a South African pre-school and Chris Harrison’s soccer skills rather than reconnecting with the girls.
Ashley N. did ask Brad why he didn’t want to marry her. (Oh, Ashley, there are so many more fish in the sea.) Brad’s reply: “Mercy.” (Actually, he said “Mercy” multiple times during the five minute interview.) On that note, I must mention my brother’s comment that Brad sounds eerily similar to former President of the United States, George W. Bush. Just think about it: The shortening of names to “Ash” and “Em,” the use of words like “mercy,” referring to Chris Harrison as “Buddy,” and the fist pump when Ashley H. told Brad the carnival was her best date ever. Now picture Brad saying “weapons of mass destruction.” Good call, Rob. I’m so glad I came to Japan to watch this episode.
Highlight of the night: Bachelor Pad preview! I couldn’t really understand if this was just a reunion or the actual show but all I know is the only thing filled with more drama and competitive cat fighting than the Bachelor is Bachelor Pad (well, that and Real World, Road Rules Challenge). The combination of money on the line, equal numbers of men and women, and the need to create alliances, makes for the perfectly trashy reality TV show. Gia and Vienna going head to head over Wes. Kasey showing off his tattoo. Roberto and Ali making out. Oh, how I’ve missed you all.
Next week, the finale. Who’s the lucky lady who Brad directly referred to last night as “Babe?” And, who’s going to be the next Bachelorette. The viewers in Hayama, Japan are putting our money on the brunette Ashley H. who has learned so much about herself and love through this journey, and has vowed to no longer put up walls.