Most Dramatic Premier Ever? Ashley debuts as the Bachelorette next Monday

I tried to fight the urge but I couldn’t…

This time next week we will have met the 25 dudes that are vying for Ashley Hebert’s (Brad Womack’s reject) love in the fifteenth season of Bachelor/Bachelorette.  I’ve got to admit, I’m not as giddy as I normally am about Monday night’s premier, but I’m not a quitter, so I’ll give it a try.  Ashley annoyed me last season and it really irks me that ABC describes her as a dentist, even though she’s yet to finish dental school.  (It’s as if I’ve convinced myself that The Bachelor is a really honest program and Ashley’s profession is the one aspect of the show that’s a lie.)

Ashley, do blonds or brunettes really have more fun?

Ashley, do blonds or brunettes really have more fun?

I do find that 25 bachelors can be a bit refreshing after 25 crying, shrieking, annoying bachelorettes.  Let’s just hope that none of these bachelors are trying to “guard and protect their hearts.”  And I’m SURE they’re all on the show for the right reasons.  Go to The Bachelorette page on ABC’s website, to start placing your bets and picking favorites.  It looks like these boys are all much closer to Ashley’s age than Brad.  And ABC still gives you their tattoo count.  (Come on, ABC, give us something a little more creative.  Tattoo count is like so season 10!)

Some easily answerable questions to get you ready for the premier:

  • Will Monday night give us the most dramatic rose ceremony ever?  Probably not, but ABC will do its best to convince us otherwise.
  • Will Chris Harrison continue his upward trend of getting more and more personality each season and sharing his snarky comments with us, the viewers?  I sure hope so!
  • Will Ashley cry at least once an episode?  Most likely.
  • Will at least one of the bachelors have a fledgling music career?  Almost definitely.
  • Will it be revealed that one of the dreamiest guys has an old flame at home who he still has a texting relationship with? I’d be willing to place bets.
  • Will I be watching the premier on Monday, May 23?  Chris Harrison, you had me at hello.
Please don't cry Ashley. It's not like you're actually going to end up with any of these guys.

Please don't cry Ashley. It's not like you're actually going to end up with any of these guys.

Who are your early favorites for Ashley?  Any clear duds after reading the Bachelor bios?

And, just to get you in the mood:

Bachelor Nick

Bachelor Nick

From Nick’s Bio (age 26, personal trainer/former Yankees player):  What is a typical Saturday night like for you? A pair of tight jeans, cowboy boots, country music, good friends, and line dancin’!

I would like to follow up with this question: Nick, does your typical Saturday night involve you in the hip huggers or a female sporting the tight jeans?  It’s a little unclear.

Bachelor West

Bachelor West

From West (age 30, lawyer from South Carolina).  Yes, there’s another dude named West on the show.  It went so well with the first one:

If you were stranded on a desert island, what three things would you bring with you and why? A boat? Why does no one ever say boat or a radio transmitter? Okay, I’d bring a lifetime supply of pizza, Mila Kunis, and a volleyball. Mila and I could play volleyball and if something ever happened to her I could name the volleyball Wilson and talk to it.

Really good way to pick up chicks, West.  Talk about how you want to be stranded on a desert island with one of the hottest girls in show business who happened to have a hot and heavy girl-on-girl scene with Natalie Portman, the next hottest girl in Hollywood.  That’s your sure ticket to get a rose, West.

PS: Does anyone know what’s going on with Brad and Emily?

  1. David says:

    Oh, no. Oh, no.

  2. Sarah says:

    Ah, thank goodness. There have been two gaping holes in my life recently — the Bachelorette and your blog posts. Glad they’ll both be filled soon.

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