A Mid-Season Bachelorette Recap, Dot, Dot Dot

Ashley informing the other guys that she's been pining away for Bentley.

I’ve had a few comments from Gluten Freedom Followers about the fact that I haven’t yet written about this season of The Bachelorette yet. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve matured and no longer watch such trash.  I can’t honestly tell you that.  Here’s why I’ve hesitated to write:

1)    Could there really be that many people (besides me) watching this season?

2)    I do write a food blog so I thought maybe I’d try to be a little more professional and not write as much about reality TV as I have in the past.

3)    Ashley annoys me…she annoys me so much, it’s hard to bring myself to write about her.

But, I can’t completely ignore the show because I am watching and continue to be amazed by the ridiculousness of yet another season of The Bachelorette. And since there wasn’t a new episode last night, I thought I’d give you some of my reflections on the season thus far. (Just because it’s a national holiday doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get two hours with Ashley and Chris Harrison but apparently ABC feels otherwise.)

Some thoughts on this season:

If I hear “dot, dot, dot” or “insecurities” one more time, my head might explode.  Even once Bentley gave Ashley the official “period,” she still kept uttering that absurdly open ended and meaningless phrase, “dot, dot, dot.”

The 1st time Bentley dumped Ashley.

Oh, Bentley, you are scum.  You make Ashley look pitiful and you actually make me feel sorry for her.  I hope your “Play Land” business in Utah is ruined.

Hong Kong: The 2nd time Bentley dumped Ashley. Period.

Way to go, guys, for being ticked off that Ashley was pining away for Bentley, a total loser from Salt Lake City, who even Michelle warned Ashley was bad news.  While you were rowing boats for her love in Hong Kong, Bentley just waltzed in and out of Ashley’s life as he pleased.  (And, wait for it, still dumped her.)  Yes, boys, you should feel like sloppy seconds.

Don't work this hard for Ashley's love, boys.

What is up with the fashion on this season?  Ashley has managed to wear more combinations of drapey shirts and tight pants than I ever thought imaginable.  Whoever is the stylist this season is really into outfitting the guys in shirts with weird lapel thingys on the shoulders (sort of military looking).  Does anyone have a name for these?  Is this some trend that I’m completely missing? (See photo of Ames for an example of what I’m poorly trying to describe.)

Dear Ames, you are a sweetie.  We like you, Ames, but we’re concerned that you live in a bit of a dream world.  (On a whim you just decided to go to Thailand for cooking school?)  Also, you seem to be an odd combination of Frankenstein and an Oompa Loompa, yet cute.

 

Ames: Check out the shoulders...what do you call those?

Chris Harrison seems really annoyed by Ashley.  (As am I.)  Her high maintenance neediness is too much for this ABC host.  He clearly thought the whole Bentley obsession was over the top.  Chris attempted to counsel her that “he’s just not that into you” but Ashley wouldn’t accept it.

Is it just me or do Ben C. and Constantine look identical?

J.P., are you too good to be true?  We think you’re super cute and you actually seem to like Ashley.  You could be the ultimate winner but I don’t know if your life is sexy enough for Ashley.  I do have plenty of single women I’d like you to meet if it doesn’t work out with Ashley.

Early Favorite, JP

 

Who is going to make a return appearance in next week’s episode?  My money is on Mickey.  I don’t think Bentley will come back again.  I hope not!  Please, ABC, spare us.

For the five of you out there that are watching this season, who do you think is going to win Ashley’s heart?  Is it possible for her to move on from Bentley?  Are you ask skeptical as me Ashley’s sense of judgment?  Do you think there will be an engagement at the end or will Ashley’s insecurities get the best of her?

Will the relationship end destructively like Brad and Emily?  (Odds are likely.)

Look on the bright side though…at least we have Bachelor Pad starting August 8th.  This season’s cast includes Jake, Vienna and “guard and protect my heart” Kasey (who now dates Vienna).  Let the train wreck continue.  Thank you, ABC.

  1. Alden says:

    Yay! Thrilled for the return of your insightful commentary. And, I think those things on the shoulders are called epaulets. That is one useful thing being married to a sailor has taught me.

  2. Betsy says:

    Thanks, Alden! That was actually a word I had on a GRE practice test once…should have remembered! Who do you think is going to be the lucky guy?

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